My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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