I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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