just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
