I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
