dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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