Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
