Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
