I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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