Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
