How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize