That's intense
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
