Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
pop tarts are not kleenex
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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