This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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