Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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