I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
