i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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