someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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