is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
