he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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