New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
