I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
