Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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