I just saw a hot homeless man
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
