i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize