i jhust puked up my retainher.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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