I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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