turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
