Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
