I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
