Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
