a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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