worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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