I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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