why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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