Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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