...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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