white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize