Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
