I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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