plz talk dirty to me
actually, I'm a sock model
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
