Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They have beer where we have blood.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
