umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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