Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
