i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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