trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
