I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
