There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it hurts more in the daytime
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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