Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
