I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
