Have you finally orgasmed yet?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
