Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize