he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
