you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
