And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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