I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can't turn off my feet"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize