Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
