in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
