Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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